i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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