Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Boobs speak an international language.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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