I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
