We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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