mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
