We're like a lot better than the average bears
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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