I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
