1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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