Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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