Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
