Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.

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(917): View more from New York City

You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.

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(518): View more from New York

I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.

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(904): View more from Florida

But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks

(504): View more from Louisiana

Specially the ones that look like Goldberg

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