He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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