Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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