I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Let's get the cat blown out
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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