btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
