Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
