oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
where are you?
Hypothermia
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
