talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
