I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
