I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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