i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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