I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
