I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
