Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
