you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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