Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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