So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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