Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
