Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
