just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
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I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
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So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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