I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
