where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
