I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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