We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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