His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize