I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
