he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize