you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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