Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
