there's paper in my vomit.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Randomize
