i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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