After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
