He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
