I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
