vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize