Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
