Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize