soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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