It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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