so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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