we're blogging at a bar
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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