i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
