whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
