i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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