How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.