Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.