i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.