After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
