They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
