So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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