We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
